You’d better sit down.
I want to tell you something, and you’re not going to like it.
Your dreary blog is putting me to sleep.
I just visited your site, gave it the requisite three seconds of my attention, and found myself in Dullsville.
Nothing grabbed my eye. No headline inspired me to read. No images drew me in.
And here’s the thing: I’m not a captive audience. It was remarkably easy for me to rid myself of your insipid prose, your bland blog. One quick click and I was gone.