I decided this week that social media has jumped the shark.
It happened when I tweeted from the dentist’s chair to announce I was in the dentist’s chair. I thought, “This is something the world needs to know about.” Strangely, the world was apathetic, and no conversations ensued.
The system failed. My tweet did not bring me closer to people who were also in dentist’s chairs, or people who enjoy dentistry, or people who remember Bill Cosby’s “loose lips” bit about trying to talk with a mouth full of novocaine.
Online marketing’s demise can’t be far behind, which kind of renders this week’s Wrap-up pointless. Why should any of us read or write about copy or business when the New World Paradigm doesn’t work for oral hygiene?
But on the off chance that someone feels there’s a difference between teeth and business, here’s what happened this week on Copyblogger:
This is the post wherein Sonia Simone teaches us how to climb Mt. Everest and relates it to blogging. Specifically, she claims both take more than gumption and flowery thoughts. Both benefit from specific instruction, and it’s inadvisable to just kind of start walking and hope for the best.
Pshaw. Next she’ll be saying that prep for competing in the Ironman Triathlon is more than “keepin’ on keepin’ on” and “good-old-fashioned sticktoitiveness.”
Honestly, when you think about it, Sonia’s real message isn’t really that you shouldn’t wing it. It’s that that there are three main areas where you could get stuck… and then how to get past those stuck places. So basically: Wing it, but don’t get stuck.
So it’s totally okay to go ahead and climb Everest without preparation, but have this post printed out in case you get stuck. You know, if you can still hold it after losing fingers to frostbite.
Looks like the price of membership in the Third Tribe will be going up on June 1st. That means that if you want to join but don’t do so until after June 1st, you’re either not thinking clearly or have a strange concept of economics.
What’s interesting about this post is that Brian has given everyone the suggestion to totally rip off the Third Tribe. When you join, you’ll get instant access to everything that’s up there now for one payment of $47, and then you could split and cancel your membership if you wanted. It’s almost like that “Gone until Monday – Alarm code is 3449” sign that Brian puts in his yard every time he goes on a weekend trip.
So you should check it out. Be sure to bring your burglars’ tools and canvas bags with giant dollar signs on them.
You know that phenomenon where someone is blogging about spleens and kidneys, and then is like, “Dude, I have black market organs for sale” and then his readership turns on him, telling him that they didn’t come here to have to pay for spleens, and that were just there for the spleen chat and free samples?
I hate that. I ran into this with my first three spleen blogs. You try to make a buck by selling something on your blog — and if you do it in the wrong way, your audience turns on you like a bunch of rioting free-organ hippies.
David Risley has the answer. He’s got some very specific tips for how you can walk that line where you draw people in with content, operate in a friendly, Third Tribe mindset, but still are able to sell things without being called a sellout.
Alternatively, you could do what I did. Naomi Dunford, who kind of acted as my mentor, recently told me, “You started as a sellout.” Ah, memories.
The latest installment of Roberta Rosenberg’s Landing Page Makeover series addresses iGrowKids.com.au, which I will note is NOT some sort of Matrix-style farm where humans are grown.
The site suffers from the age-old marketing problem: great idea (easy-on clothes for babies; if you aren’t a parent, you won’t know how BADLY this stuff is needed) but slow sales. So in typical fashion, the Maven does her thing to explain how the site could convert better.
I’d only add that perhaps adding hilarious baby do’s and don’ts might help with sales.
Thursday Part 2:
You should check out the free Copyblogger newsletter, Internet Marketing for Smart People. I mean, if you don’t, you’ve essentially said that you’re dumb. Who would do that? Why are you beating yourself up that way?
I joined because Sonia badgered me until I did, but I’m glad I signed up because I keep getting these cool nuggets in my inbox. Not chicken nuggets, though. Informational nuggets. If you think your inbox is a mess now, try letting a few chicken nuggets in there.
To close the week, Brian wrote up a really important post about what F.E.A.R. is and how it’s different from fear. (Fear is instructional and usually good whereas F.E.A.R. is annoying and stupid — exactly like “learning your ABCs” and the 90s hip-hop kid band “ABC.”)
Basically, pay attention to this one if you’re not down with being immobilized and stuck in everything you do. You might also want to read it if you don’t enjoy being freaked out for no reason. If none of that applies, then stop reading and head over to Engrish.com because there’s clearly something wrong with you.
(NOTE: Go to Engrish.com anyway.)
Friday Part 2:
Hey gang, Brian here. Apparently Johnny turned in his homework early and left town before realizing we published two posts on Friday. Who knew there was a weekend swap meet dedicated entirely to black market organs?
Anyway, following up on my F.E.A.R post, Catherine Caine gives you 7 specific strategies when writing is giving you the willies. So, you should, like, read it right away. How’s that for a Johnny imitation?
Oh, and by the way . . . if you’d like to see your name in the headline of these Copyblogger weekly wrap-ups, we’re now accepting applications. Just kidding, Johnny!
(No really, send ’em in. This guy’s an unbelievable prima donna. What’s worse, he thinks that term relates to the time period before Lucky Star became a top-five hit).
About the Author: Johnny B. Truant has a dumb blog at JohnnyBTruant.com and is one of the guys behind Question the Rules. You should also really check out his Jam Sessions with Charlie Gilkey, because they’re filled with tasty informational nuggets that will make your business better.