This is the second installment of the headline remix series. You submitted content, I’m rewriting select titles and telling you why.
If you missed Part One it’s here. Otherwise, let’s carry on, shall we?
Original Headline: Colors for Marketing
In this case, the original headline communicated what the post was about, but I thought it could use a bit of jazzing up. I went with the old stand-by “The Secret of…” format since this information is not generally well known, and employed more vivid wording. While you want to avoid hyperbole, understatement is often not the most effective approach.
Original Headline: Discovering Music That You Like
It’s hard to go wrong when you start a headline with the word “discover,” but discovering is a bit too unassertive here. Also, while “new” is implied, the headline gains a bit of momentum by its express inclusion. Finally, music that you “like” seems less than earth shattering. Speaking to the individual tastes and preferences of the reader in a general sense seems to be the best approach given that we don’t know what those tastes and preferences are.
Original Headline: Remote Employees in Rapid Growth
At first blush, I thought this piece was about the rapid growth of the remote employee sector of the workforce. But once I dove into the content, I realized that “rapid growth” meant a fast-growing company, and how the demands of that environment necessitate the use of remote employees based on geographic and economic constraints. The new headline isn’t terribly sexy, but it gets the point across to the target audience. The content was a bit neutral, so I didn’t go with something more results oriented, such as Thriving With Remote Employees in a Rapid Growth Environment.
Original Headline: Trade for Real
Here’s an instance where the original headline makes sense after you read the article. Remember, the job of the headline is simply to get someone to start reading the content, so you want to communicate enough information to make that happen. In this case, I tried to communicate the gist of the content message using a definition style headline and a symmetrical follow-up that was a bit provocative.
Original Headline: Packing for Travel
There are likely many ways to approach the headline for this piece, but I went with this one to demonstrate a tip that many copywriters live by. Even if you write your headline first, you may find inspiration for a better one in the body content after you’ve finished. In this case, the inspiration was in the opening paragraph, specifically the second sentence:
For the rest of us, well, traveling light is an art form.
Anyone can pack for travel. What we all want to know is how to do it well. And in this case, packing well means the subtle art of taking only that which is necessary and nothing more. I’ve forwarded this post to my wife.
I’ll do some more either tomorrow or over the weekend. Ciao for now!