BECAUSE AWESOME!

NO ONE CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID THING. WHY? YOU HAVE WRONG BECAUSE.

BECAUSE WANT. BECAUSE GREED. BECAUSE SELF.

WRONG BECAUSE ALWAYS MAKE FAIL. HAVE RIGHT BECAUSE INSTEAD.

HAVE BECAUSE AWESOME.

ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, TELL YOU HOW.

YOU READ NOW.

BECAUSE COMMUNICATE. FOR THEM.

EVERYONE CARE ABOUT SELF FIRST. TAKE HINT. CARE ABOUT THEM FIRST TOO.

WHOLE POINT OF COMMUNICATE? THEM. WITHOUT A THEM THERE NO COMMUNICATE. IT JUST OTHER WORD END IN “ATE”.

ONLY PERSON WANT THAT IS YOU.

GET OUT AND TALK. TO THEM.


BECAUSE USEFUL. FOR THEM.

LISTEN IS CONSUME. CONSUME IS TURN INTO SELF.

NO ONE WANT TURN SELF INTO USELESS CRAP.

MAKE USEFUL. MAKE WHAT THEM WANT TO BE. MAKE WHAT THEM ADD TO SELVES. MAKE THEM STRONGER, SMARTER, BETTER.

FORGET ABOUT BUILD SELF. BUILD THEM.


BECAUSE TRUE. FOR THEM.

LIES LIKE CANDY. TASTE GOOD. TURN YOU FAT AND STUPID.

WORLD FAT AND STUPID ENOUGH. GIVE IT DIET PLAN OF TRUTH.

WHEN TASTE USEFUL TRUTH, WILL WANT MORE. AFTER WANT WILL CONSUME. AFTER CONSUME WILL CARE. AFTER CARE WILL WANT MORE.

GIVE THEM MORE. GIVE THEM TRUTH.


NEVER STOP. FOR EVERYONE.

WORLD FULL OF SELFISH. FULL OF USELESS. FULL OF LIES. IT NEVER STOP.

YOU MUST NEVER STOP EVEN MORE.

ONE THEM MADE BETTER LEAD TO TWO. TWO LEAD TO FOUR. FOUR LEAD TO EIGHT. MATH KEEP GOING UNTIL YOU SERVE USEFUL TRUTH TO ENTIRE WORLD FULL OF BETTER THEM.

THEN YOU WIN. SO DOES EVERYONE.


BECAUSE AWESOME!

NO ONE HAVE SECRET TO CARE. NO ONE HAVE CONTROL. ONLY HAVE MORE LIES. ONLY HAVE FAIL DISGUISED AS WIN.

NO CARE ABOUT WORLD? FILL WITH FAKE WIN TODAY. DROWN IN REAL FAIL TOMORROW.

OR FILL WORLD WITH USEFUL TRUTH. LIFT WORLD FROM FAIL, GIVE IT BEAUTIFUL THING YOU MAKE FOR IT.

BECAUSE YOU MAKE AWESOME.


*This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

About the Author: ME, GRIMLOCK, AM GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR. HAVE NO RELATION TO OTHER PUBLISHED CHARACTERS, SO LAWYERS CAN BACK THE HELL OFF RIGHT NOW. ME ON ONE-DINO MISSION TO DESTROY SUCK ON INTERNET, REPLACE WITH AWESOME!

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Comments

  1. NO WORDS. SHOULD HAVE SENT POET.

  2. Whooah!!!!! Dr Suess + Confucious . You got me there Grim lock. At first thought, am I on the right blog???. But as I read, I understood, the points you made were really good. Lol

    I had to read and re-read a few times to see the underlining message in each point. All points embody pretty much what true marketers do. Give to the people and they will give back. A truly original take on the subject.
    Brownie points for creative writing, every once in a while you need a different blog post style to shack things up a little. I am curious to see the responses to this article.

  3. This. Is. AWESOME.
    It speaks to me on two levels–both in marketing (obviously) and in crafting my novels.
    In writing novels, I want it to be about the audience, not me: no false veneer on a wanna-be memoir. I want my books to build the reader into a stronger, better, smarter person. To give them truth. And AWESOME.

    The two lines from this that really speak most to me: “YOU MUST NEVER STOP EVEN MORE” and “BECAUSE YOU MAKE AWESOME.”

  4. YOU GUYS ARE ROCK! ;)

  5. August must be a slow time for guest posts! Slight quibble with the headline though: “5 WAYS YOU MAKE AWESOME” perhaps…..

    • We have a long queue of guest posts. We ran this because we thought it was wonderful. :)

      • It IS wonderful – thank you very much for publishing it!

        Speaks for itself so beautifully that any commentary seems inane and redundant. Lift world from fail – more please!!

        Sue

        • ME, GRIMLOCK, GLAD YOU LIKE!

          IT LATEST IN SERIES OF POSTS ON BLOGS AROUND INTERNET.

          THERE LINKS ON FAKEGRIMLOCK.COM IF WANT SEE OTHER ONES.

  6. I thought the site was hacked. :)

  7. FG,

    Do much more to help people by telling the truth. Simple.

    Hurt people by lying to them. Simple, too.

    The first option makes your life easier. The second option gives you a karmic bitch-slap.

    You can only lie for so long. You will be outed, somehow. Or you will suffer until you start telling the truth.

    Can’t escape karma. Just be honest. When you feel like writing trumped up, hyped up copy. When you feel like lying about your success.

    When you want to lie to make a few more bucks. Or to make 1 buck. Tell the truth.

    As your network grows it becomes so much easier to make a fortune with the truth on your side.

    Create. Connect. Be honest. Act with integrity. Simple qualities which build the foundation for some kind of fortune, if you want fortune. Or if you want a few extra bucks.

    Either way, it’s the only way to go, if you want to create content which helps people and prospers you.

    ME LIKE!

    RB

  8. Mandy Barrington :

    Whoa. This just made my day! In the words of Kevin from the Office (US): “Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?”

  9. I was all like, “I’m not sure I like this.”

    Then I read who wrote it and I was like.”I LOVE THIS”.

    Thanks Grimlock & friends.

    Neil

  10. AWESOME!

  11. You know something is good when you wish you would have invented it first. Deep down, I wish I was Fake Grimlock. Good luck destroying suck on internet.

  12. Good job!!! Write more of these for Copyblogger please.

  13. This brings back the memories. My kids used to love watching the Transformers cartoons. I read the whole article in Grimlock’s voice and everything! That said, FakeGrimlock makes some great points about marketing. WORLD FAT AND STUPID ENOUGH. GIVE IT DIET PLAN OF TRUTH!

  14. Did they get hacked?
    …Wait. This is BRILLIANT.
    DFTBA!

  15. The pictures are icing on the cake.

    Question: How should I go with my JK Growlings persona?

  16. How fun was that??!! Perfect timing…I’m absolutely consumed in being a better me for them but what about them in the meantime? Thank you!

  17. LOVE. TAKE TO HEART. THANK.

  18. Thanks for totally making my day. What a refreshing and poignant post. You have a way with (simple) words! :)

  19. Fantastic – this is brilliant in many ways:

    1. As soon as it hits your inbox you think – what the!!
    2. You see who it is from and wonder what’s happened to their website (so you have to go and take a look)
    3. You just can’t believe anyone would write a post like this and it intrigues you
    4. Because you know it is on a well respected website you “get” that there is a real message
    5. You read it and re-read it and go “yup” “Absolutely”

    You wish you had thought of it yourself and are now thinking – how can I come up with something unique, attention grabbing and effective
    Carol
    Better known as The How2Girl

  20. OH MY WORD GRIMLOCK! YOU DEFINITELY MAKE AWESOME! THIS IS LIKE A BLAST OF FRESH AIR – LOVE IT!

  21. Haha, PERFECT! :D

  22. Daring, brilliant. Bravo!
    -tj

  23. This is a really genius piece of work! Way to fulfill the message that you are trying to send in the first place! Because Awesome should be shared with the world. It would make for a lot less SUCK haha.

  24. Had to post on my G+. Thought at first, “Oh no, another syntax addled, negative blogger filling the world with hate.” And within two minutes I was transformed.
    Thank you.

  25. ALL THE WINNING.

  26. ME FAKED OUT BY YOUR EMAIL AN POST. THOUGHT YOU ARE HACKED FOR SURE. THEN I GET WISDOM FROM IT. YOU ARE THANKED.

  27. LAUGH TILL CRY. READ AGAIN. FEEL SO AWESOME! WANT TO MAKE AWESOME NOW.

  28. WOW. Wow. Wow. Sounds like how the world was created to function no?

    When you serve others, you serve yourself…and when you try to serve yourself, you do a disservice to the world (of which you are a included in too)! I think if even 50% of your readers grabbed a hold of this and refused to let fear steal it away, it would change the world!

    GRIMLOCK ROCKS! Who knew giant robot dinosaurs could be so wise!?

  29. This is first blog post I’ve ever read by a not-an-80’s-robot-dinosaur… but now I want more! :D

    Great message + great cartoons = WIN. (The fact that I read the whole post in my head with Grimlock’s voice only adds another layer of awesome.)

  30. I LOVE THIS POST!!! THE BEST EVER!!

  31. Please stop yelling at me in ALL CAPS!

  32. Uh okay. I guess this is a ‘real’ Copyblogger post. I Googled ‘Copyblogger’ because I was reluctant to click on the post in my inbox. I thought it was a phishing scheme.

    I like the rawness of the CARTOONS. :) Nice message too.

    • I catch some FAKE GRIMLOCK brilliance on twitter, so I was prepared. Not something we would do every day, but once in awhile it’s good to wake folks up a little. :)

  33. U.S. reading rank 14. Me thinks know why.
    Still – message gooder.
    :D

  34. Spent two seconds thinking Copyblogger had lost their collective minds, then realized how awesome this post is. Linked to it on Facebook. Thanks for posting this!

  35. Anne M. Beggs :

    One of my highlights today! Love it, and conveying this time honored message is such a refreshing way was a delight. Hope I can share it–I know many who will enjoy and grow. TY for sharing. Candy–lol

  36. Me tricked, great post, fantastic illustrations. What a thoughtful presentation too. I’m still cracking up. Reminded me of offshore writers.

  37. Classic :) Ye he he.

  38. Reminds me of an old quote – “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”

    Thank you for the encouragement to look for truth and share it with my neighbor.

    Blessings, Steve Sr

  39. Brilliantly convoluted, challenging, funny and true. I make AWESOME with my secret Bad Ass Awesome Sauce http://www.barneydavey.com/badass

  40. This is the best an most original article I have read in a while. At first I was turned off, then the next thing I realize..I have read the whole thing. The all caps, the bad grammar. But guess what? The message: TIMELESS SIMPLE TRUTH. The pictures were also perfect. Well done Grimlock! :-)

  41. Loved this post! And dig FAKEGRIMLOCK’S bio: MISSION TO DESTROY SUCK ON INTERNET, REPLACE WITH AWESOME!

  42. AWESOME. NICE MEET GRIMLOCK. WISE MAN GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR.

  43. Claudia Pesce :

    Hey Grimlock, for a GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR you have an awful lot of human feelings and that, my friend, is AWESOME, because there are too many humans out there who act like robots with no feeling. I applaud you and commend you on your mission to rid the Internet of SUCK and MAKE AWESOME. But it is also my sincere hope that YOU remain the one and only GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR on this mission and that no copycats crop up trying to imitate you. In a world where people use LOL as a VERB when they speak (shakes head) and memes showcasing cats with poor grammar spread like the plague, I’d hate to see the English language butchered by a whole other slew of unoriginals who are just trying to piggy back onto your fame. Like I said YOU ARE AWESOME. STAY THAT WAY. But please don’t go makin’ any BABY ROBOT DINOSAURS. You are so AWESOME the world can’t take more than one of you…

  44. The first hook was the “typo” in the subject line :-)
    This is so brilliant. Thank you!

  45. Really cool and i love it

  46. Like many others, I was confused as f**k when I started to read this. Turned out to be pretty cool though. BECAUSE AWESOME!

  47. Awesome all the way! Keep it coming please.

  48. Definitely a purple cow!

    The challenge of the web in all the “suck” is to get attention.
    Only then can we put across the message.

    I loved it.
    I loved the cartoons.
    It communicated!
    Lynn

  49. Sorry, but I could only read enough of this to find out if it was real,,,then, goodbye. Copyblogger lost quite a few Brownie points.

  50. Very good. Thank you.

  51. Abdallah Al-hakim :

    I have interacted with FAKE GRIMLOCK online in the past so the style was not surprising. Still, the AWESOMENESS of this post is beyond measure. Great job.

  52. WOW!

    Setting aside the striking format – which totally highlights this post’s important and powerful message – just look at all the comments!

    Clearly the method and the message strike a RESOUNDING chord!

    I like it!

  53. I know what the article means. What I don’t know is why you had to torment yourself in writing it the way it is written.

    By the way, it isn’t funny for me, and reading it is difficult. Kind of reading a coded message.

    Moral of the story? It is practically impossible to pretend that you are dumb if you are not.

    Please don’t do it again.

  54. Bloody Hell! A post all in caps and almost unintelligible: and from Copyblogger! Well, it was awesome. I’m in awe that copyblogger would expect me to read this.

    What depths of trendiness will you plumb next?
    Leon Noone

  55. DEONS MOSES-OKORO :

    AWESOME actually is the right word! It really thrilled me. The creativity is expository. It captured the real essence of the message. Grim keep it up…you are a blessing to this generation. Let’s all give the world the truth,so as to discard this concealed failure being paraded as success. The truth is quite what it takes

  56. Excellent post and I love reading it and also like the way you have write the post.

    Thanks for sharing wealthy information.

  57. GRIMLOCK

    Y U NO POST MORE OFTEN??!!??

  58. That kicked ass. I GO BACK AND REMIND US WE AWESOME AND NOT MAKING BRAIN CANDY FOR MASSES. MAKING BEAUTIFUL THINGS FOR WORLD.

  59. Victoria Reeve :

    I wondered… then I realized: AWESOME!

  60. William Mougayar :

    Which comment system this use. Them not heard of Disqus, FG’s preferred commenting system? It make comments more awesome & connect puny humans together via Engagio.

    That said, this was a great post that makes you think hard about taking care of your users.

    • ME, GRIMLOCK, NOT REALIZE COPYBLOGGER STILL ON ANCIENT COMMENT SYSTEM FROM 2002 WHEN AGREE TO POST.

      IT TOO LATE, HAVE TO LET SLIDE THIS ONE TIME.

      • One could say that Disqus is a perfect example of digital sharecropping — using someone else’s property instead of owning and controlling your own turf, as with WordPress.

        Of course, one would be crazy to say such a thing to a giant robot dinosaur. So, carry on.

  61. Johanna Fenton :

    I am entirely charmed by FAKEGRIMLOCK. You had me at the title.

  62. Maybe @FAKEGRIMLOCK should have taught this to Dean Kamen before he invent most awesomist piece of crap no one need….. Segway.

    • NO ONE TELL THE DEAN WHAT TO DO.

      ME LIKE WHAT HIM DO WITH ROBOT HANDS. IMPATIENT FOR HIM BUILD THE REST OF HER.

  63. Damn! I LOVE these! BRILLIANT!!!!!!!

  64. At first I almost backed out…but I couldn’t believe that copyblogger would actually write this bad so I pressed on…finally figured it out! lol! Me think care about people right.

  65. That was fricking awesome! I almost feel like I have been trolled by sheer brilliance. Kudos.

  66. Weeks after I got this in my in box I keep sending it to people I think would enjoy it. This is such a great post…. it has to be shared more. The images and and message make it so much more then just another ” to sell John Smith what John Smith buys, you must….” Cheers to you FAKEGRIMLOCK. I like your ‘tude. Keep destroying suck on the internet and replacing it with AWESOME. I shall do the same to repay you – Thanks for the wings. ;-)

  67. Grimlock is speaking about the general state of affairs in America as well.

    Lies poured upon Americans lead to fail down the road.

  68. Fakegrimlock, thanks for the wings. We are going to change this world for the better, you and I and many others.
    EPIC POST!!!!!

  69. WTF!! This is…. Awesome!! haha.. Really. It doesn’t even consume a lot of energy in my brain just to absorb the real message of this post. Gud jobb FakeGrimlock. I want more of this now. LOL :D